and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
