And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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