You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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