Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize