Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize