I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
