My first STD was from a foam party
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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