YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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