No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
