i just sent this text using only my big toe
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize