Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
thus making me awesome and them whores
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
