hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
