it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
