Sry I called you an 8
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
