i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
