I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
