Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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