you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
