Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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