Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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