final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He shit in the fireplace
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize