So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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