sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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