you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
