Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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