You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
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