shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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