Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
