I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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