she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
