Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
