we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize