Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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