we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
