He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
So squirting runs in the family.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
