so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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