how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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