You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize