One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize
