I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Are we still banned from the library?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Randomize
