I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
We had sex on a dog bed..
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
