Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize