So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
