I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
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Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
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I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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