You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize