So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
