I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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