it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
