If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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