i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
