Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Randomize