Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize