Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
