I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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