Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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