hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
