Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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