I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize