Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
