I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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