She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
