Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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