Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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