i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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