im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
