maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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