Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize