Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
