i just had sex bonerless
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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