how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
